it's raining, it's pouring...

It's 8:23 on Friday, and I'm writing this from the wet, cold steps of Apple Ford in Lynchburg. My truck is not working right, so I dropped it off to be fixed. I just have one question; if they can't get to my vehicle til mid-day to do a simple diagnostic, why did they schedule me for an 8:00 appointment? Retarded. So I'm out here enjoying the remains of Ernesto when I should be nestled comfortably in bed in my apartment. So goes life.

If I'm learning one thing as of late, it's how ugly self is, and how my fallen human side is always working against the things God is trying to do in my heart. I really am self-defeating; I feel like Paul must have when he wrote the back half of Romans 7. I know the good things I want to do, and the godliness I want to have, but most of the time I effectively work to achieve the polar opposite of goodness and godliness in my life. But my hope has to be found in the same place Paul finds his. At the end of the chapter, Paul writes "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" That's the question I'm usually asking myself at the end of the day. But Paul's immediate answer to that question is comforting; "Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Jesus is going to set me free from my self. From my fallen nature that wants control over the outcomes of my life. Hard to believe sometimes, but it must be true; it's in the Bible... I will leave you with an excerpt from one of my favorite songs of all time, one that I identify with on days like these...

Curse-reversing day of Jesus
When You finally seize my soul
Freedom from myself will be the sweetest rest I've ever known...
Oh...

How can I be so prone to wonder
So prone to leave You, so prone to die?
And how can You be so full of mercy?
You race to meet me and bring me back to life...

-'Prone to Wander'
- Chris Rice